


Introspection

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Based on spoilers for series 33 episode 15. Written prior to the episode airing.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 7





	Introspection

Duffy finished typing her symptoms into the iPad and her finger hovered over the diagnosis button. She hesitated, maybe this wasn't such a good idea afterall. She took a deep breath, no, she had to know, she needed time to process the news before facing the others. She clicked the button. 

She ran her eyes over the list of conditions that appeared on the screen, all of them familiar to her as a result of her more than thirty years as a nurse. She suddenly stopped partway down the list, panic filling her thoughts. No, it couldn't be, she was too young. She forced herself to continue on down the list but her gaze kept being drawn back to that one word. Dementia. 

Duffy's blood ran cold at the thought. Could that be what was really wrong with her? Her problems had all began with headaches. Surely it would make more sense for the cause to be physical rather than psychological? She cast her mind back over the last couple of months, a thought occured to her. Bill. She still had no memory of that night in the hotel. He'd said that she hadn't drank enough alcohol to use that as an excuse. So maybe this was the real reason she couldn't remember what had happened. It would also maybe explain why she'd done it too, she'd gotten confused and the feelings she'd had for Bill when she was a teenager had resurfaced. It was the only possible explanation for why she'd cheated on Charlie, the man she loved more than anyone else in the world bar her children. 

Thoughts of her children caused her mind to race faster and faster. Thoughts bubbled up, disjointed and not completely fully formed. Glimpses of a future where she no longer recognised her own children. Three precious souls that she had nurtured and raised from their first breath to the men they were now would become strangers to her. She thought of her granddaughter and swore to herself that the emotions and feelings of the dramatic day she had entered the world would forever be etched on her soul, even as the details were erased from her memory. 

One final face appeared in her mind. Charlie. That wonderful, infuriating, kind, thoughtful, stubborn man had been her support and anchor for almost her entire adult life. There were so many times that she would have sunk under the waves of suffering that buffeted her repeatedly had it not been for him holding her head above the waterline just long enough for her to regain her strength and battle on. The thought of waking up one day and no longer knowing who he was or what they'd meant to each other hit her with a pain that she felt through her entire body, a physical ache that had no cure, the pain of hurting him. She couldn't allow him to suffer the pain of watching her disappear slowly piece by piece. She had to find a way to protect him one last time. She wasn't immediately sure how she would achieve this. She needed time. Time. She'd always assumed she had all the time in the world but suddenly the walls were closing in and it frightened her. 

She jumped slightly as she heard a tap on the door. Charlie was back. She hid the iPad from his sight. She wouldn't tell him her fears just yet. She had plans to make first.


End file.
